Sunshine Praises

Finding Hidden Rainbows in Everyday Life

  • Home
  • About
  • Media
  • Policies
  • Sunshine State
    • St. Augustine
  • Central Ohio
    • Buckeye Bloggers
  • Praises
  • Giveaways
  • Faith
  • Deafness
    • Sign Language
  • Parenting
    • Cloth Diapers
    • Ohio Cloth Diaper Stores
  • Disney
  • Adoption
    • Timeline
    • Deaf Adoption Advocacy
    • Infertility
    • Wishing for Rainbows
  • Run Happy
You are here: Home / Uncategorized / In the Land of Lollipops

In the Land of Lollipops

May 15, 2020 By Melanie 1 Comment

In 1996 after my friend Jenny died, we placed a tall white wooden cross at the accident site. It was such a powerful healing moment. Not only did all of her friends come out to the site but  the first responders who had tended to her at the accident scene also joined us. The cross contained the initials and little snippets of all of those who loved her. The event of making, placing and leaving the cross was cathartic. It was deep and painful but it was also healing and peaceful. It is a representation of all our anguish left on the side of the road as a small reminder of her.

I am not sure of the year that Florida changed their rules, but at some point all the crosses in the state were removed and replaced with circular markers. In her group, we referred to the circular marker as a lollipop. The marker is simple. It doesn’t hold the same power that the original cross did but it still makes my chest heavy when I drive past them anywhere in the state.

It is here where I live so acutely in the land of lollipops.

We moved back to my little college town three years ago. It has been almost 24 years since we stood in that grassy patch with the heavy weight of grief and while so many things have changed, so many more have remained the same.  The one thing that has not changed is the amount of memories that impale my heart at every little turn. Every little cobble stone street. Sidewalk cracks. Chocolate chip cookies and fragrant magnolias. Each of them simultaneously hold the deepest pains and the most intense joy.

It is strange to find yourself caught in the familiarity of the past but then clearly in the present. Knowing that there is something in your heart that has changed but can’t be fully replaced. The feeling of seeing your small child mesmerized by the rainbow prisms of a crystal and remembering the other smile you once saw do the same. Tasting the familiar flavors, saying the same things, walking the same paths, seeing the same shadows. The familiar past is always mixed with the now daily present. Each window of those spaces containing the reflection of a ghost.

That is what death does to a person. It creates lollipops of the familiar all across your landscapes. They burden your days with intimate feelings of the recognizable and a simultaneous understanding that life will never be the same. 

Those memories that once brought joy now are veiled in a fine layer of loss. And even when you attempt to overwrite the pain, the grief often expands into the small crevices like sand in the wind. Markers of where the past and present overlap and joy and sorrow meld into one.

In Memory of Jenny Sadow

Please Don’t Drink and Drive!

Filed Under: awareness, Drunk Driving, jenny, St. Augustine, Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Daisy says

    May 15, 2020 at 5:45 pm

    Love u and those beautiful years in our lives when we were together so often!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Don't Miss a Post!

Please wait...

Thank you for signing up.

sunshinepraises

Chasing hidden rainbows and sprinkling #PixieDust 🧚‍♀️ about:
🤟🏼 #SignLanguage
💙💛#cheermom
🍊🏝#FloridaMom
#DisneyMom
#Adoption
#Newfie

Just got our Ben Wells Produce weekly box and it’s amazing!!! I am so glad I stumbled upon this small local farm! I missed our crop-share in Ohio and this looks even better. Can’t wait for all the summer goodies.
#localbusiness #smallfarm #eatyourveggies #saintaugustine #supportlocal #benwellsproduce 

#catnotincluded
It’s extremely hard to work when the kitten thin It’s extremely hard to work when the kitten thinks your mouse is there for her amusement. #catsofinstagram #officecat #rescuecat #MilaBlair
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! 🍀 #chinesebybirth Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! 🍀 #chinesebybirth #irishbyadoption
Mila Blair aka Meebs is a super purrrer kitty. She Mila Blair aka Meebs is a super purrrer kitty. She is so loud! #purrpurr #scratchme #softkitty 

*Sound on to hear her purr.
It’s been more than a year since he played. He d It’s been more than a year since he played. He decided to give soccer another try! Mama is so proud and happy to see him give it his all! #mentalhealthmatters #endthestigma #semicolonproject
Someone needs to tell Chuck that kitties can not w Someone needs to tell Chuck that kitties can not wear wigs or be cheerleaders. #cheercat
Second comp for this power sister duo! #Cheerabili Second comp for this power sister duo! #Cheerabilities #BrandonAllstarsJax #Prism #deafkidsrock #CODA-SODA
Instagram post 17895693889787595 Instagram post 17895693889787595
So excited we found the Ox to the Limited Edition So excited we found the Ox to the Limited Edition #LOLDoll for Lunar New Year and it comes with a tiny #yakult bottle 🐂🏮🧧

#YearoftheOx #ChineseNewYear
Who else has cats that sit by the sink and demand Who else has cats that sit by the sink and demand fresh running water? #spoiledchuck #waterthecats #ChucktheCat #rescuecat
The exit doors are located on the right and left o The exit doors are located on the right and left of the plane... #welcometoIslandAir #clearedfortakeoff #allstarcheer
This cat! The universe knew that I needed him. He This cat! The universe knew that I needed him. He literally climbs in my lap and asks for his belly and paws to be rubbed. 😂 What kind of cat does this? #ChickenChuck #ChucktheCat #rescuecat
Anyone out there know who ‘s artwork this is? I Anyone out there know who ‘s artwork this is? I found it on Pinterest with no links or names. I would love to buy it from the actual artist. (If possible) #Disneyart #OrangeBird #whostheartist #floridaorangebird #SunshineTerrace
Yesterday was our first in-person event of the sea Yesterday was our first in-person event of the season! So excited to be back on the mat and working for the dream! #islandallstars #clearedfortakeoff #onegymonefamily ✈️🌴💛
😍 Goodness gracious Ly is looking beautiful in 😍 Goodness gracious Ly is looking beautiful in her new #cheerabilities #brandonallstars uniform! #TeamPrism #allstarcheer
Thank you #FSDB for our family ASL dictionary and Thank you #FSDB for our family ASL dictionary and flash cards. #deafkidsrock #languagematters #languagepriority #ASL #English #bilingualkids #IheartFSDB ❤️🤟🏼
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in