As part of my Paying and Praying for #3 series, I am participating in Resolve’s “Bust an Infertility Myth” Bloggers Unite Program. The myth that I am busting is that if you already have one child, you know you are fertile and will have no problems conceiving again.
My husband and I were married in October of 2003, at 31 years old, we knew that we didn’t want to wait to long to start our family but we were still surprised by the positive pregnancy we had that November. Over the moon with excitement we told all of our friends and family.
I had my first doctors appointment in January and they ran some blood tests in which my “numbers” were less than stellar. The first OB I saw told me it didn’t matter and to just relax. I had an ultrasound just after the new year and they were unable to find a baby. I had a placental sac and no baby. My then doctor had me convinced that I just had my “dates” off and told me to give it a few more days. I was so frustrated and impatient that I switched doctors. Dr. Teach (who I LOVE) confirmed that I had a what is called a “blighted ovum” which is the cause of about 50% of first trimester miscarriages.
At this point, we were devastated. We had wanted so much to have a baby and we had never in a million years thought our first baby would end up in the arms of Jesus before we had even set eyes on him. We also did not know that this was a precursor to the struggles yet to come.
In April of the following year, we became pregnant with our son. I had a difficult pregnancy and delivery, but he arrived exactly one year to the day that we had lost our first baby. After his birth, we simply reveled in him and had no big plans to get pregnant again but were not doing anything to prevent it either.
After almost 2 years, we decided to take some action. We went to our regular OB and began a myriad of tests, that are anything but “comfortable” for the average women. After 6 more months of trying with Clomid, we were sent to the local infertility clinic where almost immediately, the doctor confirmed that I had secondary infertility related to ovarian aging.
I am one of the lucky 10% of women who’s ovaries begin to age at around thirty. Because of this I have less than a 5% chance to conceive without medical intervention. So at 34 years old, with one child, we were facing the choice to intervene with drugs and procedures or to find contentment with our three person family.
After prayer and consideration we decided to attempt IUI. On our 4th attempt with the odds stacked against us, we conceived our daughter Luella. She was a beautiful baby. We have been blessed beyond measure.
Unfortunately, there have been scars left by the years of unanswered prayers, procedures and pain. Secondary infertility is definitely different than primary infertility but it is still so very painful. It causes you to doubt, to be angry and to be unsure of what your suffering is for.
Secondary infertility occurs in about 12% of all women. Having an easy and normal first pregnancy does not promise you that you will be able to have a second child. If you are under the age of 35 and have been trying for more than one year or if you are over 35 and have been trying more than six months, you should seek help from a medical professional.
Want to know more? You can learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week and general information on infertility by visiting the Resolve Website.
