Parenting my ADHD, impulsive, overly intelligent child has been extremely difficult lately. I am not sure what is going on in his head but he just can’t seem to get it (and keep it) together these days. I have to admit that I have not been the best at monitoring his additives, red dye and sugar intake and I take full responsibility for that. However, there are some things that he has done that I know are choices and not impulses.
A few months ago, he and I came up with this anagram based off the words that I have him repeat to me when he has broken a rule. When he would misbehave, I would calmly remind him that his behavior was not appreciated and that he had not shown one of the character traits that we expected from him. The four words we use are respect, obedience, caring and kindness. Even though we have used these reminder words for awhile, we didn’t come up with ROCK until recently.
R.O.C.K. has become an excellent tool in keeping him focused and trying to lead him back on track. I can look right at him and say, “ROCK” and he knows that he is not behaving in a suitable manner. When he has done something to break a rule, I can ask him to tell me which letter and the corresponding word and he is able to express himself simply.
I also like the consistency that R.O.C.K. provides. Almost all behavior errors can fit into one of these categories. For example:
- You weren’t kind to your sister.
- You weren’t obedient to your teacher.
- You weren’t showing respect to your father.
- You were not caring towards your belongings.
These four simple words give us a starting place for discussing his behavior and because we are using them consistently, he has begun to see the patterns in his choices. Even if it totally hasn’t changed his behavior.
I am hoping with continued consistency, parenting on the R.O.C.K. will help me be a better parent, with less frustration and of course, less yelling.
What tools do you use with your children to help them focus on their behaviors?
Do you think ROCK could be helpful for you?
Thank you for this! We don’t have an official ADD or ADHD diagnosis (he’s pretty young and we are watching him and we have a huge family history), but going to a child therapist a few times has been so helpful. I learned that you have to be humble as parents when you go because so much of what they teach is for me as a parent. I actually have a few blog posts on this in the works. I will be using this idea too.
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I look forward to reading your posts. We started with the child psychologist at age 4. Our original diagnosis was Sensory Integration Disorder and I absolutely think that it was right on for the age. And yes, I agree. Learning to parent the atypical child is much better with outside help.
Coming up with an anagram sounds like a great idea! I’ll have to keep this in mind!