I have had rough parenting week. My older, strong willed, preteen is in some kind of hormonal spring frenzy and this mama is about to lose her mind. He does not listen. He does not care. He does not respond to a single discipline tactic. To be 100% transparent, I can’t seem to find a my groove in parenting him and I am getting to the point where I spend more time praying he doesn’t become “that kid” than I do about anything else. It’s hard to feel like the “bad” parent, to struggle with connecting to your child, even though you feel like you know what you are doing.
If I am getting real with you, I have to first admit that I can be a yeller. Not even a yeller more like an in your face screamer to my eldest. He knows how to push all my buttons and will lead me right to precipice of the mountain and then push me over with a Q-tip. This kid makes parenting hard and exhausting, that is why I was interested in reviewing Dr. Todd Carmells’s new book 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids. Not that I can’t use the tools for raising all my overly spirited children, let’s just be real, everyone can use a little help now and then.
Dr. Carmell’s book is laid out in 8 separate units made up of 5 easy to read chapters. He focuses on identifying where we as parents may need adjust our parenting style and then gives several practical, easy to apply suggestions. There is also a quick “tip” at the end of each chapter that corresponds with a consideration choice. I found it helpful to answer the consideration idea on paper, really helping me to internalize the recommendations. Here are the list of his “tools:”
- Talking
- Listening
- Influencing
- Connecting
- Teaching
- Encouraging
- Correcting
- Leading
While I found all the tools to be very helpful. I felt very convicted on the issue of Talking. Dr. Carmell’s book really pointed out some areas that where I am damaging my relationship and making it difficult to connect with my son. I really took to hear the importance being someone that my child wants to hear from and will try to reach out to.
The other chapter that I gained some significant insight was related to Correcting. We definitely have a “bounce” issue in our family. I want to raise children that easily adjust and “bounce back” from a negative experience. This not only applies to what we are seeing in the home but also as a prediction to their future successes.
While none of these tools will happen over night. The book is very easy to ready. Interestingly enough you could finish it by reading just a few pages a day for 40 days. 🙂 I would encourage to take your time and try to apply and include the new tools slowly and naturally, letting them become habits and increasing the chances of their long term success.
From the Publisher:
About Todd Cartmell
Dr. Cartmell is a licensed clinical child psychologist and author of several parenting books, including Flexible Kidsand Keep the Siblings, Lose the Rivalry. He also is the creator of The Flexible Thinking Game and conducts parenting workshops around the country. Todd and his wife live in the Chicago area and have two sons.
8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids by Dr. Todd Cartmell is available for $9.82 paperback or $7.99 digital on Amazon.com
Disclaimer: I was provided this book in exchange for my unbiased review. This post contains affiliate links.
I feel like I have to add this book to my library list especially if my daughter is anything like I was as a teenager.
This sounds like a great book. I just may read it.
I love that its sectioned off in 8 easy areas!! Makes it so easy to learn and remember!! I find myself slipping in some of these areas!! I would really benefit from reading this!
Sounds like a good book.