Parenting: Eph’s Birth Story

When I found out I was pregnant with Ezra, I wrote this post. Tonight on the day of my eldest’s 11th birthday, I would like to share it.

When I found out I was pregnant with my surprise baby, I began following some birthing sites. I am amazed at all the different birth stories that women share. They are very empowering and make me wish that I had the same types of connections when I had my first child.

Three months before we conceived Eph, I had my first miscarriage. It is was blighted ovum pregnancy and ended in a D&C. Needless to say, when became pregnant again so easily, we were overjoyed in expectation for our rainbow baby.

I had a somewhat difficult pregnancy. All day morning sickness that lasted, well, all day. I was very tired and didn’t really have the tools that I needed to figure out how to survive. Then as we got into our 30 week appointments, the doctor became a tad worried because we were measuring much larger than we should be. Like almost 5cm over the standard deviation. I didn’t feel that huge but we ended up having ultrasounds almost every week. They were certain Eph was a good sized baby. The concern was that I was beginning to have low amniotic fluid and he just wasn’t moving around that much.

Regardless, because I wanted to have a natural hospital birth, my doctor allowed me to go over the 40 week marker. As we were approaching 41 weeks and I was showing ZERO signs of labor, I went ahead and allowed myself to be induced. Looking back, I know I realize that it probably would have been better to just wait a tad more but hindsight is 20/20.

On the day of induction, my husband and I arrived at the hospital. They checked me in, got me cozy and began my pitocin. I didn’t progress at all. So they suggested a foley catheter. At this point, I had given up any hope of things progressing more naturally and allowed them to do it. I slept or watched TV most of the day and continued to make ZERO progress.

Sometime late afternoon, they checked me and I was almost fully dilated but still was not having regular contractions. The doctor suggested an AROM and about 3 minutes later I was in the WORST pain in my life. I went from zero to 1000 and could barely stand it. I was literally screaming and grasping the sides of the bed. There was no relief and my right side literally felt like someone was stabbing it. I asked begged for an epidural and was given one about 45 minutes later. Of course, the epidural only partially worked but it was still better than what I had been experiencing.

I can remember the doctor coming in around 6:30pm, checking me and letting me know that I would be able to start pushing. They set up the room for the arrival of the baby and I got down to work. They first hour went by pretty quickly. We knew Eph was a big baby but pushing was not really doing anything. Every contraction sent him back up into my uterus. They could see his head but he wasn’t making any progress.

After about an hour of traditional pushing, they got creative. They brought in bars, had me change positions, they even tied a bed sheet with knots and had me “climb” it facing my husband. Alas, no progress and no baby. The doctor began to suspect that maybe he wasn’t in a traditional position so they tried to manually manipulate him. After that (and a short rest), I started pushing again. His heart rate was becoming restless and after another hour and absolutely NO progress, the doctor suggested a c-section.

At this point, I was greatly relived. I was still have horrible lower back pain as well as hip pain. I was tired and I wasn’t sure I had another minute in me. The doctor and nurses left to prepare the surgery room. One nurse even popped back in one more time just to see if I could try pushing again, which was really nice, since they all seemed to understand that I didn’t want a C-section.

As I was prepped for surgery and wheeled into the room, my doctor sweetly reminded me that it was literally one year and almost the exact hour that I was being wheeled into a similar room for my D&C. I still remember her words and feeling God’s redemption in that loss.

I would say that I was scared but I don’t think I was. I was very tired and I just wanted to finally meet my son. The surgery went very quickly. Once they got in there they realized that Eph was “sunny-side” up and slightly turned. One of his broad shoulders was slightly turned and leaning against the pelvic bone which is why he never was able to make his way down. He even had some slight bruising on the one shoulder.

Once they got him out, he was a 9lbs, 22 inches and his head was 15 3/4. Not too small! I got to see him immediately and my husband was able to hold him until they gave him to me to nurse in the recovery room. He was very alert and seemed happy to be out of his cramped environment.

As I look back, I wonder if I had waited until I went into labor naturally if the outcome would have been different. My doctor doesn’t think so. She feels that he was stuck and the outcome probably would have been the same. I know there is no magic crystal ball that can tell me, so I won’t harp on the past.

I am just glad that he arrived in this world safely and is a healthy, wonderful, amazing young man.

It is amazing how our births shape us. If you struggle with birth trauma or postpartum depression, I encourage you to seek help. There are many local organizations that offer midwifery and postpartum birth support.