My mom has cancer.
Honestly, there is part of me that doesn’t want to write another sentence. Just that one line is almost unbearable. I have been struggling for several months with all my thoughts and fears around her diagnosis and how to put them into words. I am angry, sad, hurt, worried, and scared. I know the Word says;
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)”
I desperately want to find that hidden rainbow, to believe that God will provide a miracle. I confess that this is not an easy task. I am a very realistic person. I have a hard time looking at the mountain and trusting that God will move it.
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Mat 17:20)
My mountain is my mother’s cancer and I confess my faith is small. I am praying for an abundance of faith, a ceasing of my fears and a miracle of healing.
Will you pray too?
Sending up a prayer for your mom.
I feel yor pain and the whole roller coaster ride. It is all too fresh in my memory. My dad spent 2 years fighting Lymphoma and it was not fun. 3 times it left and returned. Sadly he didn’t win his battle but we are beginning to see God’s hand as to why. Do your homework and look into and make sure that her plan of care really is the best plan. Don’t just take the Dr’s word as law. If we had done that they would have killed my dad a lot sooner than the cancer did. We found a route of treatment that was beginning to work but we found it too late or hewould still be here with us and oddly enough it had nothing to do with drugs or cancer centers or hospitals. Let your self feel these things and work through them, it is important to go through that process. It’s hard to be faced with such a mountain especially when it feels like the mountain is falling on you. It’s a daily fight against the devil for me to not give in. But just because Satan won the battle of my dad’s cancer it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t still have a plan. My husband is now the pastor of the church my dad was pastoring and I don’t know if this dream would have ever come true if this hadn’t happened. We see it as my dad being Matt’s Moses. My dad got to see the promised land from the outside but Matt is ushering us in. No matter what the “what if’s” could be that play through your head DO NOT give in to them and do NOT let faith go. I had strong faith through my dad’s treatment and wouldn’t trade the times we went through for anything even though I wasn’t happy with the outcome. God had other plans and now we see why. That isn’t to say your mom is going to have a bad outcome, there are still 1000’s healed of Cancer everyday. This is just my story. I don’t believe in just praying “God’s Will be Done” That’s not how we are to pray, I believe in praying for what you want, “You have not because you ask not” God wants us to specifically ask for what we want so pray everyday for healing, it’sthere for the taking. I still believe that even though we didn’t get it. And if you ever need someone to talk to who has been there feel free to message me, isaandjojo@sbcglobal.net
My 7 year old is a cancer survivor. I understand the fear. But God is good no matter what. I am praying for you!
Cancer knocked on the door of my mother’s life when she was 39 years old. She fought a two year battle before God took her home at age 41. At 19, I was too young at the time to grasp the possibility of death, though it was not long before my naivete was crushed and my innocence was replaced with a caregiving responsibility (and later dedication) that would rival the best medical care facility on the planet. Her diagnosis was grim from the beginning. Stage 3B adenocarcinoma of the lung. It’s true that doctors should be questioned and multiple opinions should be sought. It is no coincidence that what they do is called a “practice”. They are but as human as we are. Some are more consumed with “ego” than others. As a close doctor friend of the family has told me, “If an individual was arrogant and ego-driven prior to med school, they will most likely graduate with the same personality traits.” Another wise quote I remember is from the head Oncology nurse who ran our support group, “NEVER let a doctor tell you about pain. If they try, make sure you grab a good hold of their vulnerable anatomy and challenge their certainty.” On that note, I can tell you it is a daily struggle. Ups, downs, tears, laughter and plenty of anger. I challenged my faith long before my mother was ever diagnosed with this wretched disease. I found my way back to God through this painful journey. The only way I could accept her fate was to believe there was a better place for her. Although my selfishness would have rather believed her better place belonged here with me. I do believe in prayer. But I did pray for God’s will to be done. My own personal belief is that our lives are planned and when it is our time, we are called home. I do not believe Satan had a place in my mother’s death as I know he had no place in her life. I don’t deem him to be so powerful. I pray your mother’s story has a different ending. My father has survived two bouts with cancer. One with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and another, 5 years later with Squamous cell carcinoma of the lung. His treatment and prayer filled days were no different than my mothers. The end result and original diagnosis have separated the two. My ultimate wisdom would be for you to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Don’t lose yourself in the treatments, the nerve rattling test results and the egos of our medical world. This is a time to embrace your relationship with her and with God. Make new memories, reflect on old ones and immerse yourselves in love. There is a hidden gift in the midst of an illness. The ability to appreciate what you have while they are still here. The opportunities to absorb all they are, all they have given you and your ability to give back. Never miss an opportunity to tell her how much you love her. Never again take for granted every day that she is here with you. For even in the best of situations, we all know, tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.
I am very sorry for your mother. My mom was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer and Lymphoma last April. Her doctors were very agressive and she ended up fighting it and as of her last scan, she is winning. It was so hard to hear that she had cancer. I thought I was going to lose my mom and that she would never see my kids grow up and I wouldn’t have my best friend. All through treatment, she kept a great attitude and she had the chance to witness to many people she met. It really did make us realize what was important in life. The little things, like having a clean house, all your laundry done, and having a perfect life, doesn’t matter anymore. Family matters more than anything. Even if the outcome isn’t what YOU want, its what GOD wants and he has a plan. Just try to listen to him. If you ever need to talk, I will try to help. I believe you have my contact info. Prayers will be said for you and your mom!
Sis I know your pain all to well. My mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and at first me and my sisters did not want to believe it. My mom had a hard time believing it. But some how I don’t now how but my mother’s faith in God gave her the strength to face it. And because we saw our mothers faith we became strong as well. She did end up having to have her breast removed and that was the hardest thing for us all. But you it’s in those deep dark moments that Jesus holds us tighter. My mother was a survivor and she beat cancer. Matter of fact they fitted her a false breast she brought it home and and after only wearing it for a week she said I am not wearing this I will go without it.
I know it’s hard for you and you have faith even if it is small..God is going to take care of it. I believe in His healing power.
{{hugs}} and prayers are going your way. I don’t have any other words for you, as my heart hurts for your family. I will continue to pray.