When I was pregnant with my daughter, I swore up and down that I would not pay for another baby. That I would leave it in God’s hands and trust that if he wanted us to have another that he would provide. So here I am, 2 years out from the birth of my beautiful little girl and I am filled with that desire for more.
I am technically infertile, which sounds funny coming from someone who has two children, but I am unable to conceive without the direct intervention of a doctor. I have a fairly unknown disorder called Luteal Phase Defect. I won’t go into all the details but basically it means that I have a shortened cycle and that I very high chance to miscarry in the first 10 days after conception. Of course, you don’t even know you are pregnant in that window but basically that is what happens.
When I was a young child, I dreamed of having a big family. I used to tell people that I would have a barn full of cats and kids. I had a zillion stuffed animals and baby dolls that were all named. I loved them all and spent my days playing house, school, and most importantly Mom.
Like most women I assumed that child bearing would be easy for me. Little did I know that I would be the one crying out to the Lord for that little pink cross to appear on a stick. And like I said earlier, I really thought that having my daughter would still the longing for more children. However, once again that strong desire to have another baby is there. I see pregnant women and new little babies and stare in awe at the miracle of their lives.
The bible says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) If the Lord places with in me the desire to bear children then shouldn’t I trust that He will provide?
It is such a slippery slope between infertility treatment and faith. God has provided for me wonderful doctors, successful treatments and beautiful children through infertility interventions. Should we not continue to walk in faith down that same path? Does paying for my children somehow weaken my praying for them?
Our journey has been long and while we rested in the His answers I once again find myself praying…”Oh, God, is there another one for me? What paths and answers should I take? Where oh, where God is my fertile soil?”
And and always, he is faithful in his answers… “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
I don’t look at is has “paying” for your baby, it just helping fix a medical condition so you can have more babies. If you had a disease with a cure wouldn’t you seek it? Why not do the same for another baby. I know you have a very strong faith in God and the way I look at it is if God doesn’t think another child is the way to go for you, no amount of dr.’s or fertility treatments will get you pregnant. That’s just my opinion though from one mommy who “paid” for her baby to another mommy…and I would pay a million dollars if God would bless us with another child when the time is right. There is no right or wrong answer to this Mel, you are a great mother, with a great family, and I think you will make the right decision:)
Nky Z.
My heart goes out to you! I my self have 5 children – It took awhile to get my first and then my third took a long time to get also.
All I know is that it is a VERY hard trail to deal with! My thoughts and prayers are with you!
I have known a couple women my age who struggle with infertility. One just had twins through in vitro, another is still yearning for a baby. They know that Motherhood is one of the highest (if not THE highest) calling from God. I know it is heart-wrenching to want a child and not be able to conceive when you want to. I do not think that seeking infertility treatment weakens your praying for them. If anything, I think it shows God your increased commitment to Motherhood. I believe that God will bless us additionally when we take actions to seek righteous blessings from Him. And what blessing is more righteous to seek than that of children?
I wish you the best in your journey for a third child.
You should do what your heart tells you and what you feel is best. Like the first post said, it’s not really “paying” for your baby and if God wants you to have a child the treatments will work.
It is great that you are seeking God first and trusting in His will in this. We have 3 beautiful blessings. And although another child would be welcome the risk of me carrying another baby would most likely cost me and our child our lives. It was an extremely difficult decision to not have more children, but God has given me the opportunity to love other children and plant seeds and water their faith. There is no shame is using the medical knowledge that God has given to help your body carry a baby. That medical knowledge helped me carry my 3rd baby to term even after I miscarried her twin at the end of the first trimester. She is our “Sunshine Girl” and I am so thankful for the wisdom of the doctor that knew how to help her wait out her time to deliver and for the God who allowed it to be so. God knows the desires of your heart. If medical intervention is available and helps you have a child then there is no wrong in using it. It sort of reminds me of the parable about the man stranded on his roof during a flood. 3 times God sent help and 3 times he denied it. When he died he asked God why he wasn’t spared. God said, 3 times I sent you help and 3 times you rejected it. Often times God’s will is done through the work of those He sends into our lives.Praying that God gives you your heart’s desires.
Yous situation makes me feel selfish. I have 4 teenagers and had my tubes tied. Then I divorced and remarried a man with no children and we now both want to raise a new child together. I gave up my option to have more children willingly, and there are those who are like yourself that yearn for the possibility.
I will pray for you and leave it in the lords hands. I hope you will be granted what your heart yearns for.